But what I tell myself is this: I can't change the course of this at the moment and if they do point a rifle at me or hold a knife to my throat and I know it's the last moment of my life then for sure there's nothing I can do then I'm determined not to beg or flinch because I was right to come to Falluja and to try to evacuate people and get supplies to the hospitals and to die for trying to do that isn't ideal but it's OK.

Ajiza is separated from her hubby, pending divorce. He proved to be a very irresponsible young man. He had over 20 jobs last year. She got him a good job with Dell Computers, Assembly work, but a good job with good pay. He has no education so he can't be picky, but he quit after only two weeks. She also is immature, and together they are like dating teenagers, vs. being responsible young adults. They get mad at each other for the stupidest things.

Sounds like what your cousin Kris, Aunt Betty's son, was like with Cindy, his son Andrew's mother. Too young, too soon. Now he's married to another lady and is father to her two children and they are doing great...

And from the onset his family did not like her, his mom has been advocating divorce even prior to the wedding!! They at first faked they liked her, but after they got engaged, they radically changed. And the worst part, they have yet to consummate their marriage, I told Ajiza maybe that is for the best, if they had had children it might have got worse and been harder to contemplate ending it.

They must have a lot of self-control!!

Even now she is disillusioned with the possibility of him changing. She says if he was such and such...I told her listen to what you're saying "if " is the key word here. He is not and has proven he is making no effort to change how he is or has a desire to.

No, the old saying that a leopard doesn't change his spots is a saying for a good reason. I know only too well.

Meran told her not to beg for him back, and said that Divorce is a good option. In fact all her brothers and sisters are supportive of that, they don't trust him because he has proven himself otherwise. In fact they would feel betrayed if she tried to go back.

Well good for them. Practical.

There is a Kurdish saying that Gullizar said - "You will go blind before I let you go back with him again." Meaning she would stand in the way.

Gullizar and her sayings! You'll have to start writing down all those Kurdish sayings. I'd like to read more of them.

Gullizar had a dream about this in the beginning. Eerily, she has these prophetic dreams often, I have learned to listen to her advice or be told I told you so later. Anyways about her dream...

[not to interrupt, but when you're done with the dream, what's status on Gullizar's husband getting here? Didn't you say there was good news regarding him not long ago...?]

...She had a dream where the Imam here and Ajiza's husband and his father all came to their door. Gullizar's father said don't open it. Their brother Shabban ( the one who is deceased) said, no it's ok let's see what they want and he opened the door for them. Gullizar sees this as her father not approving of the marriage and a bad omen about the marriage. And she sees Shabban as Meran. Because he was the most supportive of Ajiza, and "opened" the door for her marrying him by giving her away. In the Islamic and Kurdish tradition, Dead people in dreams are usually telling the truth...Once Remzia had a dream of their mother and in it she was displeased with me and my relationship with Meran. Remzia told me about it, and at that time me and Meran were going through a very rough time. We were fighting a lot and I was to be honest vicious at times. After I heard the dream, I tried to be more patient with Meran. It worked for the best...We got along much better...I don't know if what they say is true or not...but is something to contemplate...

Well, I'm glad you were able to see truth when you hear it. That means you have a good heart.

No news yet about Gullizar's Hubby. Just he has been approved and is awaiting when his visa interview will be.

Ahhh...I see. Well, hopefully it won't take as long for this next phase!

Yeah, hopefully! We are hoping that he will be here by the end of the year at the latest.

I think that will deserve a party!

There will be a wedding, they are Islamically married, but in the Kurdish tradition they have only had an engagement party. The wedding is yet to come...