This is my son-in-law, Meran Abdullah. Meran is an honorable young man who has been through more than most of us, and thankfully has become better for it. I am so proud of both him and my daughter, and what they are doing to make their lives and family. Here, Meran is shown getting ready to fly to another location where he is needed as a translator/interpreter. He has mainly worked in the north of Iraq, in and near the areas where he grew up in Iraqi Kurdistan, but also sometimes to the South... 

Eva wrote me this week to say,

Just thought you might be interested in how my visit today went with the Psychiatrist Zainab recommended to me...

His name is, Shaidul Islam, and as his name implies he is a Muslim...He was also very nice and in the entryway I saw he was a Captain in US Navy...honorably discharged in 2003.

I filled out this rather long form about symptoms and then answered questions...In the end he put me on Welbutrin XL for the depression and recent anxiety attacks, and Eskalith to balance out my moods, I mentioned how I tend to go from happy to angry to sad all in a matter of seconds...

Then after a week, I am going to go see him again...we will see how these effect me and if I like them better...

Hopefully this can help me get some more stability to how I am feeling so I feel in control of things again...cause right now I feel like a person with a whole lot of responsibility and barely the sanity to handle it...

I have faith in this Doc though...so Godwilling that faith is not misplaced...

Love,

Eva XXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meran, ever the entrepreneur, emailed me today about investment opportunities in Iraq (most probably in the north, where he's from...) He said*, "Hay if you are thinking of buying some iraqi dinar let me know i will buy it for you becuase i think there is a chance of worth a lot more after elections or in couple years.

for example $1000 dollars will become $1,000,000 iraqi dinar and may be
later you could change it for at least $700,000 becouse there are a lot of corporations waiting to inter Iraq after elections. think about it."

* Forgive the spelling - English is his second language, but he does very well overall!

I was manning the front desk at work today, and a man came to the window. He was an interpreter who was looking for a hearing that he thought was at our office. I checked the sheet he had been given and yes, it was our address and today's date, but no hearing was scheduled according to our records. We left a voice message to a phone number on his sheet explaining the problem, but before he left, I noticed his name tag said he was a Kurdish interpreter, first name of Kazim. I mentioned Meran Abdullah to him, and he said he knows Meran. What a small world, sometimes...*

* I later received an email from Meran saying yes, he remembers Kazim!

Eva and Meran become overcome with emotion as he is called to board the plane... 

Meran says goodbye to his boys; he returns to Iraq to continue his job as interpreter/translator... 

Meran is tackled by the boys on the new trampoline! 

Mu'min proudly displays his new work of art (December 2004) 

Call me crazy, but the more I read and hear about pain/war/injustice around the world (or am I just becoming more sensitive to what's been going on all along...?), the more I am being pushed by my conscience to get directly involved. If you hear about me pulling up stakes, and becoming one of those funny old lady peace volunteer/activists you hear about, going overseas to help whereever & whoever, or walking the streets to publicize the evildoers and the evil they do, don't be surprised...

These are some of my heroes...

I'm stunned. My sister forwarded this article to me tonight. For those that know me, you'll understand. For those that do not, let me explain...

Shortly after I received the message from my sister, I received another from a mutual friend of ours we grew up with. He is now a tenured professor at a prestigious Eastern university...

I lived in Turkey and in North Africa and have a very different view of Islam. I think that there are many positive features to Islam and what we've seen in the form of extremism is not a reflection of the larger religious tradition. I lived in Sweden and there is toleration and respect for different religious traditions contrary to the columnist. I think there is a danger confounding Islam with radical fundamentalism just as this country that it is a mistake to confound true Christianity with the right wing brand of fundamentalism that is sweeping our country. The two brands of fundamentalism actually share a great deal in common. The self-identified hypocritical types who encourage violence against abortion doctors and sponsor hate share a zealotry. I am writing this to you to get your opinion as opposed to register a dissenting view. What do you think?

I wrote back to him, saying...

I have a different view also, Mike, as you might suspect...

My initial reaction was very similar to your last point, about there being a similarity in all zealots of any faith or belief system (there are most definitely non-religious, even atheistic, zealots...It knows no boundaries...) The fear, hate, intolerance, etc. I see in many corners of this world, whether it be politics, religion, economic power (and many times these overlap and blur), is the core of what drives the worst in humanity.

The columnist is one seemingly innocent soldier in the WRONG cause - the cause of misinformation, ignorance, and confusion. It's nothing new, but it never fails to amaze me how powerful it is...

As I said at the beginning, I couldn't believe it when I received the message from my sister. I was so sure she was more open-minded since her niece - my daughter - is Muslim, and Betty has met some of my son-in-law's family, etc. and should know better than to promote generalizations. I immediately forwarded it to my daughter Eva for her reaction, writing to her, "While there may be some truth in some of the points this writer makes, the overall article is simplistic and misleading..." I have yet to hear back, but rest assured I will share with the Yard when she does. Better yet, I hope she shares it herself, since she's one of the Team!

Kevin Sites, a reporter whose work I follow and respect, talks about a recent incident that left some big questions...

I have been reading that a good share of the "Iraqi forces" that are being used in conjunction with American troop in Fullujah are Kurdish. Kurds in general are getting more and more nervous. Kurdish children are being kidnapped, and some have been executed, being held for ransom. Fingers have long been pointing north with "Collaborators" being whispered on many lips. They see Kurds as traitors at worst, separatists at best (wanting their region and the oil-wealth Kirkirk would bring with it...) I see no way for Americans to fully pull out of Iraq anytime soon. It's a powder keg that's already went off, but there's a lot of gunpowder left...

How is it really in Iraq?

That seems to be what's on everyone's minds these days...Well where my husband, Meran, is working as a translator for the coalition forces...Things are not good.

He tells me of people higher up quitting left and right, for example he is suppose to have a site manager that visits every now and then to address their employees, Titan corporation, concerns and to authorize vacation time etc. Since he has been in Gayara, July, nobody has come by. He has repeatedly asked around and heard nothing except "they'll be there". Besides that, he is being asked to do translating jobs that he is not able to do because of lack of personnel with the right language skills. It is assumed that because he is Iraqi, he must know Arabic, which besides hello, how are you, he really doesn't have a grasp...At least not well enough to translate where one word mistake could lead to a wrong arrest or raiding a house that is not involved in the resistance.

And violence-wise things have gotten a lot worse...He is currently about a hour and half to two hours from his uncle's in Duhok. But he is unable to go there because conditions are so bad that it is not safe to travel that roadway. This in comparison to last year where he was visiting once or twice a month on his off time. Also a car bomb exploded in Duhok a couple weeks ago, and up until that point Duhok had yet to see the violence the south had seen. You know its getting bad there and more out of control when the violence has spread into Kurdistan in the north, an area that had things pretty much under raps until now.

But it is time for us to admit that we do not know what we are doing and to go back to the drawing board...What we are doing right now is letting things get worse. Since when does admitting things are going wrong=failure.

To me the bigger failure is to let things be. Any great leader will sit down and reevaluate himself and the situations he faces from time to time, if things need change, he changes it.

Guantanamo Bay represents an attempt by the Bush regime to place itself above the law in a manner unprecedented since the seventeenth century crisis, which produced the English civil war and the beheading of Charles I. - From Guantanamo Bay, Habeas Corpus and the Texan Who Would be King

We've all been hearing about Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for a long time, and in reference to post-September 11th detainment there, in particular.

There are stories being documented now that posit, when presented collectively, that the detainments at the naval station camp are, in essence, a virtual internment camp...*

Detainees include citizens of over 40 different countries from around the world, including those of our allies. International watchdogs continue to document violations of the Geneva Convention at Guantanamo by the United States, the so-called cradle of democracy. Those with power use it as they see fit, and justify it only when necessary; admitting wrong, making things right, that is never usually done voluntarily. If we see this as wrong - we the citizen of the United States, or even we the citizen of the world - then we must insist on change against wrongs such as this.

What am I going to do about it? First, I won't be voting for President Bush in November. Second, I will continue to keep myself informed. Third, I will continue to tell people about what I find out. Fourth, I will continue to find ways to make a difference. Finally, I hope and pray when I find those ways, I will have the courage to ACT on them. If each person does that, it will make a difference.

* Meanwhile, over in Iraq, Abu Ghraib isn't unique...

BBC Photo Journal: Baghdad Surgeon

I read everyone I can. To be exclusionary is to limit yourself. I want many perspectives, and I use my own common sense, then I draw conclusions.

I say conclusions, but they really aren't. They are opinions that are constantly in a state of flux because I feel it is crucial to remain open-minded. Leaders don't have that luxury.

I cannot imagine what I would do as, say, President of my country, America. It is always easy to be a backseat driver...

My son-in-law Meran is a translator/interpreter for the Titan Corporation, which is under investigation* for various charges by our government, who contracted with them in the first place.

For me, it is fascinating on two levels. First, my son-in-law, a decent, hard-working man, is getting caught up in a typical profiteering atmosphere common in war situations where rebuilding is going on. He went to Iraq with idealist motivations that are undoubtedly still there in him, but my instincts are telling me it's gotten a bit muddled in the past year. Second, as a federal employee myself who has seen and continues to see more and more private contracting out of former federal jobs, I'm seeing that the two main reasons put forth for private contractors - saving money, and better/faster production/results - is clearly not happening. The same problems that the federal government heads had before is still here - no decent oversight, no true accountability. Who watches the watchers?!

*Which just lost them a lucrative buyout with Lockheed...

My mother has repeatedly told me that I HAVE to get out what I am feeling.  That's easier said then done when you feel like you are constantly stuck in a pit of quicksand...

Since I returned from Iraq/Kurdistan, I have found it very difficult to get back into the swing of things.  Daily things seem like chores which I begrudgingly force myself to do, from dressing and cooking to reading my children a book.  I just don't desire to do those things, neither do I feel like I have the energy.  There are a million things I have been meaning to do since I got back, some things trivial, some not so, but the point is every day I wake up and nothing is done...

Another issue I have been dealing with is my weight...I am obsessed with constantly weighing myself...finding a quick fix to losing some pounds...etc. 

So far I am stuck at 170. 

I am worried that I am putting my mental self in danger by not dealing with this...how can I be the mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc.  I want to be if I am dealing with depression, identity issues, and many other stressful things??? 

So now I am starting to write, in hopes that I heal and in the process discover myself again...

Eva says that Meran continues to be in the town of Gayara near the northern town of Mosul. Meran hopes to know more in about month on whether or not he can assigned further north nearer his relatives, and where it would be safer for Eva and the boys to join him...