The Waiting Place...

The Waiting Place...

...Contemplations on those who left, by those left behind

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Meran informed me that he may not come back for good this time...

Honestly what am I suppose to say to that?

I am burnt out...with living apart from my husband, from the lack of support (not financial, but otherwise) with raising our three children. And not to mention how the boys, although they have grown use to him being gone, still think of him a lot and its getting harder and harder for them to be patient until he returns. In fact, each time he leaves, I find it harder to keep it together and be there for them. And they have a hard time in understanding why the father they love so much can't be with them and find a job here instead.

I want my husband home. If I had control, I would have him home this week. And I would tell him to stay home, that he had provided enough, and now what we really needed from him, was HIM.

I am lonely, but in the end it doesn't really matter what I want...I am not optimisitic in any chance of him staying...God Help me...cause I don't know what to do in this situation.

posted by Nirgaz | 1:06 PM

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Click here to see more images from Eva's visit to Iraqi Kurdistan, to visit Meran in late 2003

I spoke with my daughter and son-in-law tonight. Meran said he wasn't nervous. He sounded resolved, certain that what he was about to do was the right thing. Maybe a bit of his confidence was to help Eva and his sisters feel better about it and not worry for him, but I think he truly believes he should be doing this.

...it's been indicated to Meran that it's more likely that when he's deployed, he won't be going to Kuwait, but Northern Iraq since a northern front is now being established and they'll need Kurdish translators and interpreters onsite.

The poem below was written by a human rights activist that befriended Meran in the Turkish refugee camps. It is all true, based on recollections and memories shared with her by Meran. It was published in a book called "Kurdistan Times", a biannual publication of the Kurdish Human Rights Watch, Copyright 1997...

MY HOME IN KURDISTAN
By Margareta Hanson

My home, so
my father told me
was in a valley
in the mountains,
with a river
clear and cold,
its water running
from the snowfields.

In the garden
fruit trees grew.
We had cucumbers,
grapes and melons.
In the barn
there were, of course,
cows and sheep and
my father's horse.

In our home,
heated by
the baking oven
were handmade carpets
of all colors.
It was my home
until 1980 when
I was two years old.
Then came Saddam's soldiers.
Iraqi troops
bulldozed our house
and the barn,
destroyed the garden
and drove us out
from our valley
in the mountains.

Hunted, homeless,
frightened,
we had to flee.
My father's horse
carrying some
blankets, pots and pans
and my older brother
carrying me.

For years we walked
at night
lighted by the stars.
We were hungry,
cold and ill,
sleeping in a tent
as from place
to place we went.

Like that
we lived
until 1988
when I was
ten years old.
Then planes flew by
and chemical bombs
exploded in the sky.

I had run, was
hiding in the mountains.
When I returned I found
that my mother,
my father, and my brother
were laying dead.
Peshmergas helped me
bury them, and then I fled.

Four years went by.
I stayed with
thousands of other Kurds
in a Turkish camp.
We lived in tents.
For heat the sun,
for light at night
the shining stars.

Now I am in another world
of neon lights and cars.
Here in the United States
I go to school and work at night.
I call myself a man and say
"Forgotten is the pain,
I am on my way."

But when I sleep
I am a child at home
in the valley
in the mountains
with the river
cold and clear,
it's water running
from the snowfields.

In the garden
fruit trees grow.
We have cucmbers,
grapes and melons.
In the barn
there are, of course,
cows and sheep
and my father's horse.

In my dream
I clearly see them,
my father, my mother
and my older brother,
in our home
in the valley
in the mountains
in my country, Kurdistan.

I am asking you, my friend,
is there a Kurdistan,
a land that is mine,
that will welcome me?
Is there a land
of peace and democracy
where all people are free
and living in harmony?

Where hate and murder
does not exist
and every man and
woman is a friend?
If so, Kurdistan, I am
your long-lost son
who wants to go home
and never leave again!